The story behind Tom, Dick & Harry

Only few asphalted main routes traverse the outback; secluded from those routes, three underdogs met in a roadhouse (a hardboiled mix of a saloon and a flophouse) in the middle of nowhere.

There is talk of Tom, Dick and Harry; the rest is history...

Tom Thompson, Dick Dickinson and Harry Harrisburg meanwhile count among the great historic (uninvestigated) personalities of Australia. Even if they refuse to believe themselves and won't admit their achieved fame not in the least. In one of the rather seldom interviews, Harry Harrisburg, sparing with words and originating from Houston/Texas, made the following statement: "ah,... okay, listen gringo. Our godforsaken ranch is out there in the nought. And it's not there without a reason, got that? If we wanted dudes like you pester us all the time, we would have opened a damn titty-bar in the town!"

Whilst their foremost endeavour was more harmless at first - should read, finding their well-deserved rest and satisfaction deep inside the continent - later, a strategic aim came to the fore. In conjunction with each other, the "SALSOLA T. RANCH" was founded. They kept breeding a seldom sort of larva there. How come, you ask yourself? We will briefly have to speak verbosely on this.

The tumbling tumbleweed are those rolling bushes, known from many westerns. The plant however, is an ordinary, lush, sessile bush most time of the year. Not until fall, it normally seperates from the roots at a predetermined breaking point, dries out, adopts the typical spherical shape and is blown away by the desert wind. That way, the seed is spreading. But that is a bit different in Australia. There, the roots of the plant are much harder and more stable than those of their conspecifics in the west and therefore wouldn't break loose by itself. The tumbling tumbleweed would consequently die out, sooner or later. That's where Tom, Dick and Harry come into play.

Out there in the outback, they grow larvae, which enable the tumbling tumbleweed to seperate from the roots.

We know very little about the actual course of events, since the three live isolated on their ranch. But there were rumors and ominous press-conferences, where Mr. Harrisburg confirmed that the "wasteland witch" (their name for the larva), is absolutely harmless and doesn't have further effect on the ecological balance. Harrisburg told in one rather cloudy interview that they came to the idea at one of their wednesday-eve-tequila tasting sessions. They found a still living maguey worm (which is actually a caterpillar) in the last bottle. Thereupon Tom deemed that this was a sign and that he wanted to cocker and raise this worm. Sometime, Dickinson came across - so the goes the tale - and intended to breed and cross this worm with native congeneric species so that the worm wasn't so alone. And that is how it came that Tom, Dick and Harry crossed their maguey worm with a sialidae (alderfly) from the outback in a complicated process. One of the side effects was that this new sort of larva helped the tumbling tumbleweed to break loose, by drilling itself into the strain near the roots, which causes the bush to break at the predetermined breaking point. That way the bush was able to roll away, spread the seed and preserving the species. Another side effect - if one believes the rumors to be true - was that the periodical excrete of the larva creates an intensive intoxicating effect. And roughly about the same time the tumbleweed was to meet more frequently in the wasteland, one could spot a new drink in the shelves of certain drugstores. EL TRÈQUUM. According to the statements of some swaggies (obviously main consumers of el Trèquum 49 % Vol. T.D.H. Brand) they perform much better and even work at noon under the torrid sun of the outback. But even those statements are rather suspect, like so much about the three Australian underdogs...

TOM THOMPSON

Origin: Newport/Kentucky
Age: 47
Residence: Salsola T. Ranch, Australia (Outback)

Born as the sole son of John Taliaferro Thompson he spent his childhood at various military bases and was forced to join artillery school by his father. Therefore he decided to break away from his father and the related environment in early infancy at the age of 7. He slunk off on his own and tried to make his own way out there in the big wide world. From then on he was homeless and traveled through the county by riding cargo trains. He tried to make some money here and there with smaller jobs. He was constantly broke, living on the streets, only sometimes, when he had some bucks in his pocket in motels and now and then he spent the night at female acquaintances. Tommy Thompson was too restless, as to permanently settle down. He hated having to sleep indoors and even didn't like staying only two nights at the same place. New land had become his passion and business. His last known ramble lead him through Australia. "I was dried out and simply on the search for water", so Thompson. That's why he kept on crossing the continent from south to north until he finally found water; in some sleazy roadhouse in the middle of Australia's outback. From now on, destiny meant well for him.

DICK DICKINSON

Origin: Brighton
Age: 38
Residence: Salsola T. Ranch, Australia (Outback)

Dick Dickinson was born as the third son of William Howship Dickinson, a british doctor and author of several medicinial books. As a child, little Dick developed an early sort of passion or even talent for mixtures, adulteration, blending and combining. And that is how it came that he misappropriated the medicine cabinet of his father from time to time. Many a obscure mixture thereby emerged. He spent his teenage years at various universities with most different areas of studies. He sucked up any form of knowledge with abandon. Apparently he pursued only one goal since his apprenticeship. And then - out of a clear blue sky - Jo Ti Mahr appeared in his dreams. After that event, nothing could happen too fast for him. He packed his belongings all of a sudden and betook himself. The Australian outback seemed safe enough for him to write down the so called "masterplan" and make up with the lost fragment of Jo Ti Mahr.

HARRY HARRISBURG

Origin: Unkown
Age: 29-34
Residence: Salsola T. Ranch, Australia (Outback)

His origin is widely unknown. Concerning his family or childhood one is finding himself groping in the dark. Only rumors circulate around his person. Allegedly he is the son of a shoe-blacker who was raised by a nightclub dancer. But even this sounds rather like a cock-and-bull story. He emerged under various pseudonyms from time to time and switched his identities like others change their shirts. Apparently, Harrisburg was involved in illegal business, which is certainly doubtful, too. However, there was an extended time-span where he appeared under the name Harry Harrisburg. He buoyed up in Houston/Texas as a gonzo journalist and was even celebrated as an icon by the scene. Until he was severely threatened by the Cosa Nostra. The reasons are not specifically known, however. Harrisburg was forced to go underground and completely disappeared from the screen. But only recently he was reportedly spotted in Australia.